Less Ambition, More Flow

You don't have anything to prove here.

*THE FEELS: Press play while reading (Sade - Flow)*

Photo by Solen Feyissa on Unsplash

I stopped saying I was ambitious and it saved me.

Even though at the core, I kinda am.

I am a lioness. I go after what I want. I have dreams, things I want to accomplish, but I don’t want to me “ambitious,” I just want to be. More or less.

Definitely more.

Ambition had ran me into the ground. It exhausted and depleted me. Only to realize that’s not the way I was supposed to live. (emphasis on I)

Was I one of those little girls who got more attention and recognition when I accomplished something? Yes. You see where this going.

Often times, our worth is only proven by how many things we can do, how many things we can accomplish, and how big those things weigh in society.

Often time, our worth is only proven by a LinkedIn title and what follows our name at a networking event.

But I… I just don’t care anymore.

Yes, I want to do things, but I want to do what aligns with me. I don’t want to go after things just to say I did it, just to prove to someone I could.

Photo by Chris Stenger on Unsplash

My family wanted me to get my MBA. I didn’t. I didn’t want to. I didn’t have a desire to go back to school. Does it mean I’m not still learning? Nope. Have I taken other courses and got certifications after that? Yes.

I’ll say I know a lot. I research what I’m into. I leave the rest.

But I didn’t want to go get my MBA just to get a higher salary.

And guess what? After that conversation, I tripled my salary in about 4 years just by being… me. Doing what I do. Knowing what I know. Because someone saw what I have to offer.

Now I’m not painting a pretty picture and trying to brush over the system and what people really want to see on your resume. However, I am saying most of it is who you are and who you know. And know that, you don’t have to KNOW much. You don’t have to go after things you’re not really interested in. Yes, I wanted a higher salary, but I didn’t want an MBA. But I still got that salary.

I just have no desire to do things I don’t want to do.

I don’t have a desire to prove myself with accolades, certifications, or anything else.

I’m in flow.

I’m doing the things that feel right, that align.

I don’t let things in just for the sake of it. Just because “it’ll look good.” I’m doing things that will make a difference for me in my life and that actually FEEL GOOD to do. I’m safely in my feminine, and know when to balance.

You can actually let things flow to you. Does this mean not working or not putting in effort to do something you want? No, it just means you’re managing your energy in a way that safely, and softly, magnetizes all you want directly to you.

I’m not ashamed to not have been doing much for the last few months. The rest brought so much clarity.

The stillness made everything so loud.

I know now. I’m in flow now. Everything makes sense.

And all the things I was chasing before, that I never quite caught, makes sense now too.

It wasn’t for me. It wasn’t aligned, I was trying to force it to be, but it wasn’t.

I’m grateful for not catching up to what I thought I wanted.

There are a few things I started and didn’t finish that I’m referring to. And it’s not that I “couldn’t",” do them. It’s that it wasn’t my path. It wasn’t in alignment with where I should be going.

Photo by Arun Clarke on Unsplash

As I sit here now, I know where that is.

And I would’n’t have known if I tried to go after the things I didn’t really want as if I had something to prove.

The only person’s opinion who truly matters. MINE.

If I’m not happy, what’s it worth?

If I’m not aligned, what’s it worth?

When I’m aligned, I feel warm. It feels right. I feel whole. I have the capacity. I have the energy. Nothing leaks.

I get where I’m going faster, by moving slower.

I’m calling in less ambition, more flow this year.

What will you be doing?